Maybe the title of this piece should be “When Don’t Couples Fight” ?. In fact, how can’t couples fight? . If you’re married, dating, engaged, and haven’t had one of those ugly, wish that didn’t happen encounters with your “partner”, then, according to Science, you are likely in a sick “Co-Dependent” relationship where both of you too afraid to fight. But, the fact is that fighting is a “Normal” part of any established dyad .
Now that we’ve normalized “Couple Mania” fighting, does it accomplish anything positive aside from the lie that it enhances “Make-Up Sex” ?. So, now can you really think of a time when the outcome of a serious, awful, hateful, argument with your partner produced “loving” feelings? Likely not, unless you are an Alien.
So, here’s the Bad News. All of those terrible, horrible, no good, very bad statements you made to your “Mate” during your fighting, increases the likelihood that one of you will move to Australia if you don’t stop it Quick ! But, how?
When we as human beings get to the point of “losing control of our words” ( i.e. screaming, yelling, cursing, etc.), we have also caused a deficiency of Oxygen to our brains at that very time which controls our thoughts, feelings, and the motor skills necessary for us to move our mouths. I’m serious. Try it for yourself right now. Scream and try to breathe at the same time. Ha. Told you so. It’s impossible. Now, imagine feeling like you are going to verbally explode and now, take a super deep breath. Still feel like screaming? Likely not because you gave your brain needed Oxygen to send your mouth a message to “shut up now” and don’t attack your lover unless you want to be in the “Dog House”, again.
Is it really that simple that major fights can be solved if at least one of the two participants chooses to mindfully breathe and calm the situation down before it goes South? Yes, in fact, this is also proven by Science. Across the world of Species known to Man at this time, the Mastery and Mindfulness of the breath, containing Oxygen which is necessary for anything to live , especially during stressful situations, not only saves relationships, but also enables species to adapt to new unknown environments. Just ask a Crocodile why it is the only living species related to the existent dinosaur. She controls both her breathe and subsequent respiration and heart rate. She remains calm and cool as the storm of change surrounds her.
So, the next time the temperature rises between you and your partner, take a few deep breaths before you choose to open your mouth and consider changing your attitude. It might save your relationship.
